Monday, November 10, 2008

Frustration 1

So this morning is a perfect example of my growing frustration at home. When I took the 2nd job, hubby said he would “pick up the slack” at home. And when I get home at 11:00 I am exhausted and go straight to bed, not because the work is grueling, many nights it is so boring you want to rip out your hair and count the strands, but just because it’s late, later than I usually go to bed and I know it’s going to be a long week.

As I am getting ready for work this morning, I put my laundry in the basket and notice that it is so full there is a tower going up the wall and I thought to myself it would have been nice if he could have taken this downstairs to the laundry room, but I didn’t say anything.

Move into the kitchen for breakfast. I usually make Tink’s lunch for her. Last night I specifically asked her to make her sandwich, and I got some lip back, but I was very clear that I wanted HER to make the sandwich LAST NIGHT. I open the refrigerator to pack it into her lunch bag – no sandwich. I said “didn’t she make her sandwich like I asked her to?” guess not. The dishes from last night’s supper are still out. The containers that they brought the food to the hospital in laying on the island now with caked dried cold cheese, hamburger still in the skillet, cups all over the counter.

I looked at hubby and said “What did you do last night” (obviously nothing) “Well I took the (new) clothes out of the bags (and put them in the laundry) and you said that you bought the wrong bras (sorry TMI) so I put those in the sack and put them on your dresser.” He’s now looking at me sheepishly and says “I guess, nothing” (no kidding)

I said trying not to cry “I think you need to find the 2nd job.”

“You want ME to get a second job?”

“Well this obviously isn’t working! We’re in worse financial shape now than when I started there 3 years ago.” And not to mention I am completely stressed out!

I grab my toast go sit down at the table, he makes pop tarts for himself & Boo. Tink finally come up and he starts ragging on her because she didn’t make her sandwich. ? I wasn’t going to say anything, just let her pay the consequences of not having done it. But no, he has to start ragging on her, she lips backs, he yells at her for lipping and says “mom doesn’t need this” and I sit there thinking WTH and just shake my head. Whatever buddy, don’t cover your own guilt by yelling at her.

And what really ticked me off last weekend was when he announced he was going hunting all day. WHAT, I’m going to go work all day, first Saturday morning at the bank and then my 2nd job and you’re going to go do what you want without any regard for anything else. Then on Monday when he finds out his boss worked all day I hear “well I screwed up, I should have stayed home and helped Boss” Ya think!

So after having just said (typed) all that, hubby is not a complete jerk, he’s just an oblivious man. This frustration is NOT the reason I so upset the other day, it’s just the easiest to talk about right now. Because we all rag on our hubby’s, it’s in the sisterhood doctrine.


Guinevere said...

I can totally relate. What kills me is when I come home from my second job to find all the dirty dishes still out, crap all over the dining room table, both kids watching tv, and hubby playing on his computer downstairs. I'm exhausted...and, as soon as I change into pjs, I'm in the kitchen loading the dishwasher, putting things away, generally cleaning up. After it's all done, then he comes upstairs and has the gall to ask me how my night was? Hmm...I don't know, what does a knuckle sandwich taste like? ;o) lol Men....

Guinevere said...

Oh, forgot to say this...the "best" one he pulled was, one night, I came home earlier than normal and he was fixing dinner for him and the kids. I went back in the bedroom and changed my clothes. When I came back out, the 3 of them were eating dinner, so I headed into the kitchen to get something to eat too and...there's nothing. They ate it all. I was standing there like, "WTH?" When I said something about it, he actually looked surprised and said, "Well, I didn't know you were going to be home early, so I just fixed something for me and the kids. You should've said something if you wanted some of it." ????????????????????? Wow. He's lucky he lived through the night that time. lol

But, you're right. It's just a man being oblivious...because he IS a good husband and father...except in these types of situations.

Jane! said...

I think maybe Guinevere and I live at the same address.
I feel your pain, girl. And yes, it is in the sisterhood doctrine.
My biggest beef is that the only way I can get results from any of them is to have a complete melt down. Argh!

Kat said...

We sisters definitely need to have each other's back - I'm assuming that all male species are the same because I thought you and guinevere were talking about my hubby. The bastards - the whole lot of them and ditto on the kiddos, I produced three of those things... Sorry world.

Jeankfl said...

Sometimes I wonder why we even let them live..LOL They are so "self" focused, it's just amazing.. but, they're still the best thing out there!! And once in a while, they redeem themselves. I guess that's why we keep them around..
Hope things get a little better for you!

Becca said...

Hang in there and hopefully he smartens up...Men, can't live with them, can't train them, either. :-)